I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
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