you're like a bully in the Christmas story
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
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