he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
Latest life lesson : don't accidentally send an "I nutted on her tramp stamp" text to your tattoo-less girlfriend. Oops.
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
WHY DID YOU INVITE ALEX?!?
Because she offered to bring a keg.
And also because you fucked her in an alley last week and I'm trying to be a good friend.
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
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