shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
Randomize
