thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
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