Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
My mom caught just caught me jerking off...in her room.
I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
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