i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
Randomize
