The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
Randomize
