i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
Nothings more american than taking a shit with a handgun next to you.
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
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