You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
Randomize
