Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
Randomize
