This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
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