Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
Randomize
