Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
Randomize
