Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
MY DINNER LAST NIGHT CONSISTED OF SEMEN AND A PROTEIN SHAKE... MY TRAINER WOULD BE PROUD I DIDN'T HAVE CARBS!
Randomize
