No, drunk sperm still make babies.
just so you know, your brother isn't driving home wasted tonight. he is, instead, in my dorm shower screaming about rubbing his butt with my loofah; thought you would be proud
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
Randomize
