still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
Randomize
