No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize
