i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
You attract beautiful men with jobs. I attract ONE WITH A SOUL PATCH.
it was a sexy soul patch.
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
Randomize
