Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
So the next time I search for "Dragon Dildo" on my phone, I should probably clear the browser before handing my phone to someone and that's the first thing they see haha
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
Randomize
