It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
Learned two new lessons today: 1) Do not identify pills found in one's car by taking them to see what happens, especially while at work, and 2) There is no logical reason to keep ambien in one's vehicle...
Randomize
