I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
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