Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
