when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
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