they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
Dignity is for republicans.
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
How drunk was I last night?
You tried to unlock a door with your dick. That drunk.
Not the explanation for the cock bruise that I was looking for.
Randomize
