So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
Randomize
