When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
I think im going to throw up on grandma
I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
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