I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
Randomize
