Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
Just got a call from someone claiming to be my son . How do I initiate a conversation. Tell me about the last eighteen years. And by the way who is your mom again?
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
Randomize
