Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
I making dinner, so you might want to actually come home tonight.
oh, you finally did the dishes then?
No, bought new ones.
Sign #1 that I'm not ready to be a mother: I'm shopping for "maternity fishnets".
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
Randomize
