Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
I lost the right to judge tonight
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
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