I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
Randomize
