can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
Randomize
