we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
He better not be in your backpack
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
Randomize
