How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
I don't want my vagina anymore.
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
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