she gave me a schnouzer then wanted to kiss while we were having sex...i had to puppy slap her nose. pick me up out front.
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
The bar has bullet holes in the ceiling, and the country singer had been playing drunken weezer covers. A man just bought me a beer on the grounds that I 'have his back' in a fist fight with a stranger texan. And, yes, the bartender is wearing a sherif's badge
Can I color on your dick again?
I went to the obgyn with chipped nail polish.. Somewhere Beyonce was looking down, shaking her head, whispering "Not fierce."
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
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