Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
I just made a cocktail. Had one shot of vodka left. It looked lonely so I decided to reunite it with its vodka friends in my bloodstream.
Starting the day at 1:44 in the afternoon. With a hot pocket and a mixer. Who knew my life had this kind of possibility.
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
Randomize
