i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
No, I can't hang out with Dave because he already has a girlfriend. The one with the tatoos of cherries on her "cherry." Yeah, she doesn't really make me feel spectacularly comfortable.
What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
Randomize
