i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
Apparently drunk me thought it was time for a career change. I woke up with a message from Mcdonalds saying that I was hired as the new cashier.
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
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