Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
We're downstairs cleaning up and she turns to me with these big puppy dog eyes and says "Just so you know, I didn't have sex on your couch". You have to hug that.
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
Randomize
