there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
Is it penis luge time yet?
The barista asked if I wanted my drink wet or dry, but all that came to mind was farts. You have ruined me.
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
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