Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
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