I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
Remember that night I drank a bunch of vodka, pounded your Jameson because 'you were a pussy', punched you in the face and ran off as fast as my high heels could go? It was just my Russian and Irish sides fighting for genetic dominance
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
All the doctor said was why
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
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