I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
Randomize
