I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
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