Just saw a policeman use his lights to go through a red light only to turn them off and go to Sonic...
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
There's a homeless man outside the bar. I have a toothbrush and toothpaste in my car. I think i'm going to give them to him. And they said drinking is bad.
You're so thoughtful.
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
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