He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
Randomize
