does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
It's too hard to jack off and hold an ipad at the same time
Somewhere between the 30 minutes of cunnilingus, the improvised song about the Olympics, and the super thoughtful shower beer... I knew I married the right guy
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
Randomize
