This is why you don't make out with cougars at a bar... I got a linkedin request from her, wtf?
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
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