my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
Randomize
