I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
Randomize
